Consciousness of Freedom through Listening and Speaking by Luigi Morelli

“And from a cliff-top is proclaimed

The gathering of souls for birth,

The trial by existence named,

The obscuration upon earth

And the slant spirits trooping by

In streams and cross and counter-streams

Can but give ear to that sweet cry

For its suggestion of what dreams!”

(Robert Frost, “The Trial by Existence”)

With these words, Robert Frost offers us an idea of what it is to be a “spiritual being having an earthly experience.”

It may sound like a worn-out cliché, but who doesn’t hear the call to be more of who they are or do what they really came here for? I would not be the first to suggest, that language and how we use it is one of the primary ways through which we can actualize those great dreams distilled from a time before even our birth.

The trial of existence, as Robert Frost indicates, is the “obscuration upon earth.” We forget our true dream; we learn early on to stop trying. The child who falls over and over again has no idea of what failure is. He won’t give up the idea of walking or speaking. As youths we internalize early on contentment with what is at hand rather than what we have to reach for with striving. We accept a “reality” instead of the dream. Losing the memory of our dream, means not only losing our bearing or obliterating our dream, but not recognizing those that life circumstances have placed by our side to realize our greatest dreams, to the point, that we may even think of them as obstacles on the way to our goals.
 

Imagine that in everything you do you, you have the power to transform all “failure” into learning; that you can maintain a living connection to the other human being, no matter whether you completed your task or not; that all doors still remain open for some time later, if not yet now. The tool for these possibilities is language, the language that you refashion and reclaim. This is for me what taking responsibility for our lives is all about; knowing that we have wanted all that we now meet: “T’is of the essence of life here, though we choose greatly, still to lack the lasting memory at all clear, that life has for us on the wrack nothing but what we somehow chose.”

Through the word, we bless or we curse, we unite or separate, we find ourselves or lose ourselves. Yes, with the word, we also speak with ourselves! But how do we converse with ourselves? With kindness and respect, or just like we would others or others would to us? I teach Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a tool for learning to empathize with others and practice honesty with regards to our own dreams, hopes and aspirations. In the final instance, I want to speak with myself with kindness, in order to promote learning and growth. I know that NVC is only one of many tools out there with this purpose in mind. Is there anything that all these tools have in common?

It is through others that we remember the dream and we awaken to our better self, our future self. Our littleego has a tendency to quash others and drown them in all the words that come from our experience: “let me give you all of my opinions, show you how much I know that you don’t know.” In contrast, our future self knows better, and calls us to listen to the world and to other human beings and to listen for what the future wants of all of us. 

What language, embodied in words, wants of me, is to expand my palette of choice at every moment. If I can listen and communicate clearly, I know that I have at all moments a multitude of choices from where I am free to act. This consciousness of freedom, creativity and possibility connects me to another human being in a new way. There is only one obstacle yet to overcome. How do I translate what is in my mind into language that is congruent with my consciousness? How do I select from a wealth of ideas, that one which applies to this moment? I need more than imagination; I need technique.

When you come to technique, you have to be specific. So I suggest the following ideas derived from Nonviolent Communication:

- slow down and take the time to observe carefully. 

- listen behind the words for the person’s feelings and needs, their values.

- separate your world from another person’s world: adults are solely responsible for their own. We can’t make another person happy, nor blame somebody else for our unhappiness. Let your speech reflect this.

- think in terms of what is needed for the greatest good, rather than what is right or wrong. 

- request that which is life-enriching for all involved.

Robert Frost’s poem helps us awaken the memory of our spiritual past. In closing, I wish to share a Hopi prophecy that invites us to look with confidence at the future:

And I say, see who is there with you and celebrate,

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves.

For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt

The time of the lone wolf is over: gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.

All that we do must now be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

An author and trainer, Luigi has trained extensively in Non-Violent Communication (NVC), coaching and mediation. His writings incorporate the themes of spirituality and social change, part of which is inspired from the history, myths and legends of the American continent. In addition to A Revolution of Hope, Luigi’s other books and essays include Hidden America, Spiritual Turning Points of North American History and Black Elk’s Universal Mission. Visit Luigi’s website at www.humanspiritcircles.com.